From Kfinches: "We're not prepared for the power of the appeal and get overwhelmed and become vulnerable."

As much as we may hate to do it when we are hot and heavy "in love/lust" with our favorite guy or even gal, take a break. We are trying to find out so much about their life to incorporate it into ours, but GUYS, it ain't never gonna happen. When they shut off their screens, we are persona non grata for the rest of the day/night. Try this: don't come to his/her chatroom for at least two or three weeks. It is time to recharge yourself (and examine your credit card balance). Out of sight, out of mind, reality check. Get a grip. You will see that you can survive without the performer and they are making it on their own without you. Quote

Hard lesson to learn after throwing our hard earned money at them and trying to befriend them. I only regard them now as acquaintances, just as the two drunk Slovak models doing a duo told me once that we are regarded as spenders by them that they often talk and laugh about. They are all gay for pay for me now until proven otherwise. On the duo that these two guys did, all the caressing, and kissing and rubbing couldn't even get their dicks hard. They had to watch movies on their phone or their screen. Quote

There is an old movie, Body without a Soul. It is an old movie about the porn actors and hustlers from Prague before the internet was big. It is an eye opener as to what straight good looking men from Eastern Europe would do for money. There is a line in there by a hustler/porn actor where he was interviewed and he said that whoever believes a young hustler loves him is an idiot. Here the "love" word is thrown around a lot. After orgasm. During orgasm. Right before orgasm. When there was a long show. When there were lots of tips given. When you see the model jerking off and "getting pleasure". When you see his cum. When he tastes his cum. When you share "a moment". Oh yeah, I was there too. That is why I flit in and out of this site and just look for fun and try not to get to know much about any model now.
Kfinches is correct. If you are not just here for fun but you are calling this "love", there is something missing in your life that this site cannot fix. I will not tell this member to stop posting reviews after the model has disappeared with a messages that the model "might" read. I will just offer a words of support that there are members that have also fallen into the trap. Empty life. Empty F4F message inbox. Empty wallet. Credit card limit reached. No email notification that Model X is online and is lonely without you. No email notification that Model X is online and ready to play. Sound familiar? Quote

Have to say for those who open their wallets for some performers in the room it might be a case of you are missing something in your life and sad to say some models clue into this and use it to their benefit. For that all one can say is that hopefully it was a learning experience and trust me these models will regret it at some time when the tables are turned on them. Quote

These guys are here for your viewing pleasure only. I think this was already stated. They are alternatives to going to strip joints, only, you are miles away from them and you can't touch them. Furthermore, it seems more intimate (even more than the private rooms in those joints) because the performers are in rooms having conversations privately and making promises privately. You can rain all the tips you want but all you will get is a look, a smile, a view of their hole and their dick. Then show over. Please deposit another quarter/credit..LOL.
Get real, we are all old, or deformed, or not attractive guys. The world on the outside is simply not our oyster. The only reason these youthful, sexual, gorgeous guys give us attention is for our credits. Use your credits wisely, make them perform. Just do not believe that the truth is spoken here. It is all a show. Quote

This string has encouraged me to get a life outside of here. I am not one of those that can stop at one private and move one for a few days. I am addicted, I do sometimes many shows a day, 3 or 4 or more under different names and run up my card(s) to the hilt. When my card was rejected at my son's birthday party venue, it was an eye opener. I have read many sites now on how to get rid of this habit and this is it. I have 16 credits left to my name. It was fun while it lasted but I really have to move on or get help. Quote

I'm not even going to use my 16 credits, I am leaving it all behind, disabling my notifications (that was hard to do), changing my credit cards for new ones here on the outside, stopping my VIP, ask to delete my account, deleting my computer bookmarks and removing the history so I can't log on automatically. At this rate if I stayed, I would be in big credit trouble and have no Christmas for my sons. Quote

I find myself rushing to my computer to see my favorite models and neglecting day to day things. It's hindering my relationships with real people. The pandemic only made my own addiction worse. I will have to follow Flynnn out of here and just take up some sort of exercise program. My butt is getting flat form sitting looking at this screen. Your physical health and your wallet can take a beating when you're on here too much. Quote

I will have to finally admit that I am pretty much part of this club. This happened to me a while ago. I got to know a performer through tipping. Stimulated the heck out of his Ohmi with tons of credits in lots of privates. I thought we had a thing, he wrote me and kept encouraging me to come to his room. He said I was the best thing that ever happened to him after our long talks. One day, he just took off. He never told me he was going to be gone for an extended period. I wrote. He never wrote. I waited and checked several times a day to see if he was here. He returned two weeks later, I got a notification. He never wrote that he was back. He was in privates when I came online. I wrote that I was online. He said, wait "honey", I'll be done. He got done with his private, talked to me like I was a burden to talk to. I got a call from work, he said he would wait. I came back, he was in another private. When he returned, he looked spent and said he had to break. I had to leave for work. He never wrote to me again after he met another client who was tipping bigger and better. I felt stupid. I am stupid. Of course he has a real life probably with his girlfriend outside of this site.
You guys are right. This is all a show here. We pay for the shows. Then it is done. It's fucking done. And all those credits that I thought would make me special for someone are gone just like that, just like the relationship I thought you had. I was truly stupid. Quote

Yeah, I was told by a model that he would send pictures of his trip to South Africa when he was shooting his films. I got some fuzzy stupid selfie that could have been taken off a balcony anywhere in Bratislava. The social media sites of the other models that also went to South Africa showed better pictures of this same guy on the beach, walking up Lion's Head, having great dinners with the rest of the other models, shopping and showing off what he bought in the malls, whatever. He told me when he returned that there was not a lot to talk about since all they did was shoot and he really "hated doing the shoots". Another picture from another trip that was supposedly outdoors with his "family", was some equally fuzzy hill probably taken when he was taking a leak somewhere. I will have to hand it to him, he tried to perpetuate his performer-client relationship outside of working hours with his feeble attempts. Quote

This is a great topic line, and I have a slightly different twist to share. Bottom line up front, this model deactivated his account last weekend and didn’t tell me. I discovered it when I sent a reply back and it failed “model is not active.” The rest of story: in the spring I found his room, interesting name, interesting look, atypical F4F music playing that really was nice, it wasn’t a full room and we chatted. Long story a little shorter: although I didn’t have the hots for him, he grew on me, and we did 3-4 privates, sometimes with action, sometimes just chatting, and plenty of open room chatting and tips. I rarely share much about me, but we did share a little about our daily lives. I felt like he was a fun pen pal, a buddy, and a fun flirt. He was despondent because his rates were never high and he couldn’t do parties. Unlike the other examples in this thread, I didn’t unload thousands of tips nor was there expectation that we were a “thing.” I had to go out of town for a week for a family mini-crisis and so sent him a little gift with a note that I’d be back, but he already knew that from an earlier chat session. While I was gone he sent a nice message with an update about himself and he missed me very much. This guy never strung me along like some of the other stories, so he was sincere (but it still about the tips of course).. Full circle now - you know the end of the story. I got back and attempted to reply. It was my turn to be despondent, I would have expected him to write a brief note that he was leaving F4F. Then the sleuth in me kicked in. I believed he probably maintained an account on another site; he wasn’t really happy here on F4F. So for a couple days I scoured the most likely site, and this afternoon I found him with a different name (not an uncommon practice however). On the one hand I am happy that I found him, but now I am debating NOT registering at the other site to link up again for the reason that he ended cold turkey and maybe this is my chance to be free and move on. I do miss him, but it was relatively short lived and I am but a name on the screen giving him tips, allegedly more than anyone else that day. (He often said I was his only tipper in 2 days, that sort of thing.) That’s where this thread and comments have helped me think through this. And it has been a little the-ra-peu-tic to share. [the system announced I used a forbidden word in that now-hyphenated word - I think you’ll figure it out.] Quote

This is a great topic line, and I have a slightly different twist to share. Bottom line up front, this model deactivated his account last weekend and didn’t tell me. I discovered it when I sent a reply back and it failed “model is not active.” The rest of story: in the spring I found his room, interesting name, interesting look, atypical F4F music playing that really was nice, it wasn’t a full room and we chatted. Long story a little shorter: although I didn’t have the hots for him, he grew on me, and we did 3-4 privates, sometimes with action, sometimes just chatting, and plenty of open room chatting and tips. I rarely share much about me, but we did share a little about our daily lives. I felt like he was a fun pen pal, a buddy, and a fun flirt. He was despondent because his rates were never high and he couldn’t do parties. Unlike the other examples in this thread, I didn’t unload thousands of tips nor was there expectation that we were a “thing.” I had to go out of town for a week for a family mini-crisis and so sent him a little gift with a note that I’d be back, but he already knew that from an earlier chat session. While I was gone he sent a nice message with an update about himself and he missed me very much. This guy never strung me along like some of the other stories, so he was sincere (but it still about the tips of course).. Full circle now - you know the end of the story. I got back and attempted to reply. It was my turn to be despondent, I would have expected him to write a brief note that he was leaving F4F. Then the sleuth in me kicked in. I believed he probably maintained an account on another site; he wasn’t really happy here on F4F. So for a couple days I scoured the most likely site, and this afternoon I found him with a different name (not an uncommon practice however). On the one hand I am happy that I found him, but now I am debating NOT registering at the other site to link up again for the reason that he ended cold turkey and maybe this is my chance to be free and move on. I do miss him, but it was relatively short lived and I am but a name on the screen giving him tips, allegedly more than anyone else that day. (He often said I was his only tipper in 2 days, that sort of thing.) That’s where this thread and comments have helped me think through this. And it has been a little the-ra-peu-tic to share. [the system announced I used a forbidden word in that now-hyphenated word - I think you’ll figure it out.]


HabeDank shame he did not have a twitter account so that you could have kept in touch. Quote

This is for a "spender" that I see writing reviews of a performer that has left suddenly and I feel badly for this spender:

It was incredible when you first met the performer here.
He was brand new, beautiful, a little rough and clumsy on performance, yet exhilarating to your senses.
Tentatively, you visited his chatroom at first. Explored his responses. Gauged his likes and dislikes.
Then you showered him with the presents.
Few at first.
Then as he acknowledged your presence and he gave favor to your position in his chatroom, the presents rained more and more upon him.
He gave you a "name" other than his screen name. You felt special and exalted.
When the chatroom filled up as the performer honed his talent and his performance started to zenith, he would start to pick you out in the crowd of screaming "spenders".
You wrote him wonderful reviews.
You rained tips and endless private sessions.
He called you by your "real name" that you divulged to him.
And he would give you first priority on private time.
You held in contempt those that would have him in exclusive private and wait fuming in the general chat when he was away from you.
So you showered him with incredible sums of credits.
Sometimes pushing your "CC" to the limits.
He somewhat promised meeting you when "all this is done". You thought in your head that somehow there would be a meeting and a fulfillment of the relationship.
You then tolerated his "exclusive privates". You rationalized that he is making money for the two of you.
You still waited outside in general chat and said "good night baby" when he finished with his newly found spender.
You helped him with his contests.
You became like his moderator.
You made more plans with him, he created a future for you.
One day/night he said, I'll see you tomorrow baby.

Then he was gone.

And the ensuing days, he never returned.

You maybe tried to write him here. Frantically called his flirtphone. Searched social media for his "given name".

He hasn't returned. He hasn't returned. Despite the hours and credits, he is gone. BUT, you were his number one fan. YOU were supposedly "his everything".

Please realize, the 2nd name gave you is not his real name. Not even close.

When he is hungry again, if his job doesn't work out, if his real relationship doesn't transpire, he will return.

This also happened to me a long time ago. You have to be here only for fun. You have to be on the outside for relationships.

Here the "relationship" starts in the middle. Naked and exposed as it is, this site is for fun only.



Any positive outcome would have never been possible there. According to your story, you did not set any boundaries to begin with. Instead, you decided to put yourself in a position of disadvantage. You decided to "tolerate" his exclusive privates in a public platform where exclusive privates are the main core. It does not make any sense. Once you take responsibility for your own choices, every further interaction, here or somewhere else, will be much more fulfilling, lasting, loving, and enjoyable. Quote

Preach it! Everyone read this OP again and again until it sinks in. Many who are F4F a long time feel the pain of this story. Some reading it might have a list of "buts" and excuses how this time, this model was different, but this happens ALL. THE.TIME! Give up on him. Is fantasy, is lies, even if he swears not



"Learn from it" sound like a good advice. If the idea of "learning" is on the table, the action path is well orientated. Now, the key is where and how are you going to execute the new knowledge. I always suggest putting on the shoes and cleaning your own house before going out. And it works. Always. Quote

Any positive outcome would have never been possible there. According to your story, you did not set any boundaries to begin with. Instead, you decided to put yourself in a position of disadvantage. You decided to "tolerate" his exclusive privates in a public platform where exclusive privates are the main core. It does not make any sense. Once you take responsibility for your own choices, every further interaction, here or somewhere else, will be much more fulfilling, lasting, loving, and enjoyable.

"Learn from it" sound like a good advice. If the idea of "learning" is on the table, the action path is well orientated. Now, the key is where and how are you going to execute the new knowledge. I always suggest putting on the shoes and cleaning your own house before going out. And it works. Always.



@Flavio_Garay. You are missing the big point here.

I think that this viewer, any many of the viewers that replied have taken responsibility for their actions.

We are not here because we are attractive or have great social skills.

Perhaps you should keep in mind that some of us are just incredibly ugly, physically deformed or socially outcast. Many of us never get noticed outside of this site.

We may have never experienced anyone's interest in our lives.

So we come here in this dark place, to this site, and we recreate ourselves, as you know. We portray ourselves differently and the anonymity gives us confidence here to talk to people like.....you, perhaps, or some other attractive youth.

But many like this viewer were naive in the world of relationships. For many of us, many do not get the attention that you performers give us. After all, people like you rarely notice many viewers if you should see them outside of here.

The point is that this could be this viewer's first "heartache". So be more gentle. It looks like he fell, like many of us.

So your advice is well worth noting, but the tone needs to come down some. Many of us come here and wear our hearts strapped to our shoulders, exposed for all to snatch or knock off.

We all know and take responsibility for our actions, we learn the hard way like youths in middle school. But discerning what is true love and what is not, many of us may have never experienced or are easily fooled by the venders of "love". Quote

@Flavio_Garay. You are missing the big point here.

I think that this viewer, any many of the viewers that replied have taken responsibility for their actions.

We are not here because we are attractive or have great social skills.

Perhaps you should keep in mind that some of us are just incredibly ugly, physically deformed or socially outcast. Many of us never get noticed outside of this site.

We may have never experienced anyone's interest in our lives.

So we come here in this dark place, to this site, and we recreate ourselves, as you know. We portray ourselves differently and the anonymity gives us confidence here to talk to people like.....you, perhaps, or some other attractive youth.

But many like this viewer were naive in the world of relationships. For many of us, many do not get the attention that you performers give us. After all, people like you rarely notice many viewers if you should see them outside of here.

The point is that this could be this viewer's first "heartache". So be more gentle. It looks like he fell, like many of us.

So your advice is well worth noting, but the tone needs to come down some. Many of us come here and wear our hearts strapped to our shoulders, exposed for all to snatch or knock off.

We all know and take responsibility for our actions, we learn the hard way like youths in middle school. But discerning what is true love and what is not, many of us may have never experienced or are easily fooled by the venders of "love".



@Marc_Brantley. I am not missing the point. In fact, you are deliberately putting the point aside by bringing to the table unrelated items like "dark places" and "physical malformations". I could go thru your post and prove you are mistaking in every single sentence, but I will only address the main point we are discussing here: responsibility.



You are wrong when talking about responsibility. Read again the story (post #1) by @Tristan_Normand. The whole text is blaming someone else for the outcome. The responsibility is constantly being placed outside. Also, pay close attention to the last sentence. That is a very resentful statement coming from a resentful mindset. The writer is also a creepy stalker. That is unacceptable behavior. Those are clear signs of a dangerous personality. That people should always be avoided.



As far as I am concerned, respect and clearness are required for this matter. Gentleness and kindness are not required. Do not expect those from me in a public forum. I only deliver the truth in the tone that should be delivered.



My advice is extremely valuable and accurate for both viewers and performers. I know quite a lot about this stuff. You still don´t. You definitely need to improve your level of conscientious toward these things. The insights I am providing may be meaningless for you at this moment, but they will make sense for you at some point. Just put some time and work on you. Quit referring to yourself as ugly, socially outcasted, or uncapable of discerning. That is a good start point. You will not regret for doing that investment.



Also, learn how to play Chess and come play in my chatroom. No creds needed to play Naked Chess with me.



Everybody will love to read a success story from you some time. I certainly will love that.


FG


Quote

@Marc_Brantley. I am not missing the point. In fact, you are deliberately putting the point aside by bringing to the table unrelated items like "dark places" and "physical malformations". I could go thru your post and prove you are mistaking in every single sentence, but I will only address the main point we are discussing here: responsibility.



You are wrong when talking about responsibility. Read again the story (post #1) by @Tristan_Normand. The whole text is blaming someone else for the outcome. The responsibility is constantly being placed outside. Also, pay close attention to the last sentence. That is a very resentful statement coming from a resentful mindset. The writer is also a creepy stalker. That is unacceptable behavior. Those are clear signs of a dangerous personality. That people should always be avoided.



As far as I am concerned, respect and clearness are required for this matter. Gentleness and kindness are not required. Do not expect those from me in a public forum. I only deliver the truth in the tone that should be delivered.



My advice is extremely valuable and accurate for both viewers and performers. I know quite a lot about this stuff. You still don´t. You definitely need to improve your level of conscientious toward these things. The insights I am providing may be meaningless for you at this moment, but they will make sense for you at some point. Just put some time and work on you. Quit referring to yourself as ugly, socially outcasted, or uncapable of discerning. That is a good start point. You will not regret for doing that investment.



Also, learn how to play Chess and come play in my chatroom. No creds needed to play Naked Chess with me.



Everybody will love to read a success story from you some time. I certainly will love that.


FG





@Flavio_Garay: That certainly is very accusatory of the viewer and writer. I see you think of yourself to be some sort of enlightened person. You really don't understand at all. You have no right to call viewers and writers stalkers or tell us what is unacceptable behavior. What are you doing here? Is your behavior here acceptable in societal norms? Naked chess? Really?

If you don't want to see that people actually do feel things than so be it. We won't succumb to "the way that Flavio_Garay" sees it.
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@Flavio_Garay: That certainly is very accusatory of the viewer and writer. I see you think of yourself to be some sort of enlightened person. You really don't understand at all. You have no right to call viewers and writers stalkers or tell us what is unacceptable behavior. What are you doing here? Is your behavior here acceptable in societal norms? Naked chess? Really?

If you don't want to see that people actually do feel things than so be it. We won't succumb to "the way that Flavio_Garay" sees it.



Marc_Brantley while you might not agree with what is said it is a good idea to respect the opinion of others. Flavio is being completely up front with what he has said and there was not intend to offend anyone. This site is and always will be a fantasy zone. Yes perhaps if you are luck a few friendships might be formed but that is all.
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Marc_Brantley while you might not agree with what is said it is a good idea to respect the opinion of others. Flavio is being completely up front with what he has said and there was not intend to offend anyone. This site is and always will be a fantasy zone. Yes perhaps if you are luck a few friendships might be formed but that is all.



Go Fish, if getting accused of being a creepy stalker is not offensive, than what is offensive. Marc_Brantley, you are correct, this place is dark and ugly.
Flavio, this member got taken for his credits by one of your colleagues. Why are you so offended at what Brantley said? I think Brantley's retort to you was even-keeled and not an attack. I'm sure you use the same tactics on your clients that this perform used to clean him out of his money and credits. Isn't what this site about, getting the most credits for you and the most fun for us viewers?
Some guy started this string to relate a lot of guys with the same experience. We viewers are not a bunch of stalkers. i could lump your behavior here into so many psychological deviant categories but I'll just leave it where it is. Quote

I wrote this post as a message to help a member heal, to create a dialogue between all of us who share the same experience, to heed warning to those that might fall into the same position.

Too often this happens as is seen in the dialogue. And I'm sure there are many more experiences.

I maybe a handicapped fellow with cerebral palsy, but creepy stalker I am not. I take responsibilities for my behaviors and activities in any situation. Maybe I can't help it if I wasn't born standing upright thinking that the whole world should listen to my own viewpoints. Alors, tant pis pour moi, non?

There really is no room here for self-aggrandizing comments. C'est-à-dire, I will not be playing naked chess any time soon. Quote